Tonight I can go to sleep smiling.
Accomplished.
Satisfied...
for now.
No need to fret, cuz I got time.
No need to rush, cuz I got nowhere else to go.
No need to give up, cuz I have no legit reason to.
No need to blame myself, cuz everything happens for a reason.
No need to stop trying, cuz I got nothing to loose.
When I actually try, there is nothing to regret (:

"Today happened the way it did, so tomorrow could happen the way it should."
- Baldwin Hills
(8) You and I

ok sooo, my status has been changing like instantaneously (I've always wanted to use that word). First I was all like "I HATE MY HAIR", then "Change, it happens.", then "Damn, I'm all mixed up with my emotions.", then as I thought about what a nice story it would have been to tell people if it was a happily ever after...I thought, "You're killing me here." Next, I figured out what I wanted at this very moment. No need to expose, that's why I'm only telling Jamilee about what happened tonight, but yeah. I DO NOT know if this is healthy for me, but I do want to know how far we can get. I do know that I've changed. I'm not a sucker anymore (LOL), I won't fall hard. I'm not scared of what you think and if it doesn't work out. All that's going on in my mind is "What the hai!", "What can go wrong?", and realizing..."WTF, why was I being such a baby before?!" and "Wow, I made it pretty complicated before." Cuz honestly, it's not hard.
Not hard to talk,
not hard to say what I want.
Not hard to say what I feel.
Not hard to catch people's attention.
I wanna know how you're doing, so I'll ask. I wanna hang out again, so we'll plan. I wanna know how you feel, so I'll figure out. I'm fearless, you just watch.
I grew up,
and I'm glad.

"I spent a lot of time searching for reasons and answers, but you can't find what's not there. " - Whitey Durham, OTH

There is a first time for everything. Extra prep and shopping chillages with friends, first time having ANY interest in going to semi, first slow dance lol, first time having fun dancing with friends till midnight!, first time we had to squish 5 ppl in a seat made for 3 people, first time truly feeling my age XD This semi was pretty damn live and gave a good first impression :P I couldn't wait till this night and last night it finally came. I certainly didn't disappoint myself, and no one did...it was so nice seeing all of us dancing together like fam (; It's like were all so comfortable with eachother..cute naman eh! Yeah I had no guy date but ofcourse how can I be Miss Independent with one?! EXACTLY. so as a matter of fact, I had 3 girl dates: Johna, Jenn & Edrilove <3 I love my crazy friends and i'll never forget this live ass night when you couldn't help but smile! When I try to think of what to say its kinda hard, well I guess you shoulda just been there then! XD Frig yo, I woke up at like lunch time this afternoon and my calves were killing me..as they STILL ARE. It's a killer to walk LOL. Another thing I noticed, you and me have our similarities of course but we have our differences, and after lat night when they seem to be most clear, I wasn't jealous. I was happy for you and I'm glad that it grew to come naturally without hesitation.

9 photos
one story
Where the Heart is.
<3
officially uploaded

Let's just hope this was a sign of hope (: It was a cute moment and to this point I am still awestruck. lol, there is just amazement in my eyes. Teehee, seeya around and talk to you later...because just to let you know, I will have a smile on my face this upcoming week and I can have you to blame for that (: Aha, you shoulda heard me blabbing to Jamilee about it...you just reinforced how everything happens for a reason. I kept trying to backtrack to what event lead for this to happen haha and it can go back pretty far. It's fun to think of what happened and what it led to, because you just end up laughing about it. Our conclusion for why this happened today and who to thank LOL: Jamilee's godfather, to him, his wife and their soon-to-be-born baby (x. Pretty random eh. It's funny cuz just when I believed there was no way for anything out of the ordinary to happen, then BAM. We can thank my directionally challengedness, clumsyness, and timing for this nice little encounterment. Just if you were able to fully agree to the statement he made, I woulda held that against you till prom eh (; Let's talk.

from time styll.
I gotta stop doing that & start to do better, be better.

One live ass Halloween yo! lol so, for Halloween we had a Halloween/Sweet 16 jam for Johna's birthday (: I already had a feeling this was gunna be live cuz along with it being for Halloween, it was a Sweet 16, and a sleepover! wow. kso, I officially loved it once we started to go trick-or-treating. I believe we started around 8ish? but yeah omg we're friggen crazy! runing like crazy ppl and laughing our asses off when we got to hauted houses! haha. It was nice weather and I was running around with "Gwen Stefani"! lol. I really never believed I'd have so much fun trick-or-treating again, but it made me so hella happy LOL. I will never forget when some people were jerking on the road in front of someones driveway and the creepy people that were wearing masks and staring people down their driveway started to creepishly walk toward us! OMGF you shoulda seen how fast we bolted ESPECIALLY when he was fully CHASING US! omg we were screaming as if we were in a scary movie as we ran down the street. Just imagine like 20 people running for their lives screaming at night XD. Maybe about an hour or 2 later we headed back to Johna's place, hitting the playground on our way. Most of us played grounders in the dark for a while before we went back to her place. OMG we watched "The Grudge 3"...idc what you say if its not scary etc. but ofcourse we were screaimng our heads off! lmfao I swear im surprised neighbours didnt complain. especially cuz half the time we all start screaming only because someone started too :P We were all squished on couches or the floor sharing popcorn (: aw, nice scene. haha, and knowing me I was covering my face most of the time! I saw just saw enuff to keep me safe from nightmares..lmfao most the the time I was only able to read the subtitles and half the screen (Y) TEEHEE. but t'was really fun. After the movie, we took a break and had birthday cake after singing "Happy Birthday" to Johna (: lmfao man I swear I shoulda expected this but obviously Melvin was there and got served the first peice and the next thing you know it, TIS ON JOHNAS FACE! lmfaooo omg haha. Sadly around this point some ppl started leaving slowly becuz it was getting late (N). Next, we watched "Hairspray" and some people were playing Rockband. After Johna and MM were learning dances off Hairspray, we were all getting tired. The matress and blankets were ready for us so the last part of the day came in....REALTALKS! All the lights were out except in the kitchen and her family was asleep...we all gathered on the mattress and started to talk. We as in Quillian, Aj, Matthew, Jamilee, Jenn, MM, Johna and I. Mind you we talked, ate more food and laughed for day till 6AM! Personally I think I would be able to last longer but I was satified by how long we were able to sty up together (Y). Everyone started to wake up around 8AM but we were kinda just "laying there" till breakfast came. Pancakes and Hashbrowns...YOUKNOW XD After that, we chilled as we watched "Saved by the Bell", and eventually us girlies left: Jenn, Johna, Jamilee and I were in the bedroom realtalking some more until we had to leave around 2PM? After we dropped off Jenn, we went to sauga with fam. Basically the party lived up to my expectations and once again I felt everything happens for a reason. Seriously, the people we were left with, we were able to get to know eachother more and it seemed we really needed it. I never got an experience like this before, but I'm really glad I got to yesterday/today (x I can't wait till next year guys, Halloween in Btown perhaps ? ;D ♥